


Not in front of other people

by pencilwar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel Smut Brigade, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M, Soulmates, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 00:57:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16545731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilwar/pseuds/pencilwar
Summary: We all love our friends, but what it’s between Cas and Dean it’s more than just friendship – I mean- I don’t talk like that to my friends even the ones that I care the most about. That’s why, I keep imagining scenes where Cas and Dean get to interact alone. How does it play? Do they keep staring at each other? Do they have a secret romantic relationship? Are they so disconnected to the world that they think their special bond is something everyone has? I decided that Cas is very clueless about his feelings ( he knows he loves Dean but he has no idea he has a romantic and sexual attraction to him), while Dean is aware of his attraction but just wants to hide it under a rock. Cas is a quick learner and ends up realising this is beyond what it should be.





	Not in front of other people

I love him, he thought, I can’t deal with him being hurt.  
Those were Cas’ thoughts on that Sunday Evening, it never occurred to him that if he said that aloud, it could be interpreted as romantic.  
Was it?  
Sometimes, in the privacy of the conversations that he had with Dean, they will say things to each other that sounded a bit more than just friendly, a bit more than just brotherly. Sometimes they flirt without even realizing it; they give each other’s little smiles. Dean’s has the habit of hovering is eyes over Cas’ lips or unbutton shirt. He’s always fixing is collar shirt or trying to button or unbutton it. Sometimes he fixes his hair when it appears too messy. He never does that in front of Sam, not because he thinks it’s inappropriate but only because he feels that gesture is meant to educate Cas -and he doesn’t want to embarrass him in front of other people. If he wouldn’t lie to himself so much, he would know that it’s also because he feels those gestures are intimate. Dean once said to Cas while driving “You’re a good-looking guy Cas, and those lips, if you were a woman…wow.” Cas didn’t know what to say, he knew only that a compliment needed to be responded by another one, so he innocently stated, “You Dean, you’re overall beautiful, my vessel is well aware of that.” Thankfully Dean wasn’t eating anything at that moment, otherwise, he would have chock on it. “Aware?” Dean asked almost shyly, “Yes, my vessel finds you pleasing to look at. It must be the symmetry. May I add that you have very attractive lips yourself, they are voluptuous, which I believe would also qualify them to be appealing on a woman.”  
Dean, after coughing a little, finally said “thank you”, this was getting too much for him, he was feeling his face turning red, so he managed to drastically change the subject of conversation.  
This happened about two weeks ago. Cas didn’t think anything of it for a while, but today, he was thinking about how much he cared about Dean. The thing is, he went to a hunt and came back wounded. Sam and Dean knew that guns would be involved. He ended up with only one gun shot to the arm, the one he received in the chest didn’t injure him thanks to the extra precaution they took.  
So now Cas was thinking about Dean, his favorite human, the one for whom he left everything behind. The taught of him dying and then having to look for him from heaven to hell, literally, made him sick. He decided to focus on something else, but since he could only think about Dean, he decided to focus on Dean’s face. He noticed that Dean’s face was more symmetrical than the average human, that after comparing him to the rest. Cas also realized how physically attractive Dean was. The more he thought about it, the more his body was reacting to it, his breath was no longer steady. Dean’s lips, they were plushed and almost red. His eyes, green, big, and seemed to have the perfect shape. His face was so harmonious. He was delectable to look at. Cas started to feel a faint hunger. He doesn’t know what to do so he caresses his own lips with the tip of his fingers, he closes his eyes and imagines that they’re Dean’s lips.  
He was caught off guard when Dean barged in the library. “Cas! I’ve been calling you! My arm needs fixing man, it hurts like a bitch!”  
“Sorry Dean, I was waiting for you…Sam said to meet you here” Cas says, looking a bit startled.  
“yea yea, he dropped me like 10 minutes ago, but I thought you would be waiting in the kitchen or in my room”  
Cas gets up, approaches Dean, and places his finger above Dean’s forehead. While he does that he can’t help but be totally absorbed by Dean’s face, especially his lips. Dean is used to Cas’ stares, therefore he tries to brush it off, but Cas keeps closing the gap between each other, to the point that he can now breath Cas’ breath. “Cas, buddy” Dean says with very little conviction. Cas caresses Dean’s lower lips with his thumb. Dean gives an horrified look “What the hell was that?” he shoots while pulling away. “Sorry Dean, I must go” says Cas, and before the hunter can stop him, he’s already gone.  
This petrifies Dean. He needs to educate Cas on this, he needs to do this without Sam around. He must make him understand that he can’t be touching him like that. Dean’s lips are burning now, and he can’t help himself from touching his lips exactly where Cas dragged his thumb. He plays the scenario in his head over and over, and he feels like a young teenage boy who can’t identify what’s happening. He feels like a clueless child.  
First, he never has experience the feeling of attraction towards another man. He does recognize that he has thought more than once should about how hot some men can be, especially Dr Sexy, but he has never had fantasies about them. Why is it that Cas causes so much turmoil in him? Can it be that he’s not human? Can it be that what he’s feeling is something completely different, some sort of celestial love? Cas is HIS angel after all, that’s what people keep saying anyway.  
Days pass, he is mildly relieved to know that Cas is busy with heaven stuff. On the other hand, he misses him, and he’s anxious to solve what has been puzzled him this past few days. He knows it’s all in vain, since he won’t have the courage to speak to Cas, but what if Cas touches him again in such manner. What if Sam sees, what will he think?  
His head is in the clouds, and Sam notices. “DEAN!” Sam is shouting at him, and he barely registered it, “mm yea, yea, what??” he responds half startled half annoyed, “ I don’t know what is going on with you lately but I hope Cas will be of some help!” Sam states  
“What?? Whyy? What does Cas have to do with it? Have you spoken to him…or What?” Dean almost shouts.  
“Calm down man, I just saw him, and he has a case for us that might snap you out of it. Neither Cas or I know about the dark tragic secret you seem to be carrying” Says Sam sarcastically.  
Dean is relieved, Sam has no clue, but he’s pissed at himself for being so transparent with this issue.  
“Where’s Cas?” Asks Dean  
“He left. He was looking for you. I think he sensed that you were in your little bubble and he preferred not to pop up on you out of nowhere. He says he will be back with more information on the case and that for now we can do some research. Of course, that will be mainly me…” The last sentence was mumbled. Sam, as usual, feels the need to highlight the obvious, even if he knows it’s all in vain.  
“ yea sure.” Says Dean with little enthusiasm. “ I’m gonna go for a shower”  
Sam has no time to protest, Dean has left the room. Sam mumbles to himself “And he didn’t even ask what the case is about…” He takes his laptop and goes to the library. 

Dean gets out of the shower and go straight to his room, he’s bared chest and has a towel around his waist. He’s startled when he finds Cas in his room, “Damned Cas!” Dean shouts. “Dean, I need to discuss an important matter with you. It’s…it’s something to do with human emotions.” Dean stands awkwardly in front of the door, refusing to close the door behind him. “Can’t it wait a few minutes? Kind of need some privacy now!” he frowns, not because he’s mad but he knows that Cas sometimes needs more than a clue to react “human”. Cas, slowly realises the situation. Dean his partially naked, and that is highly inappropriate, Dean has told him more than once that he should not be in the room while people are changing, and he has ignored that more than once. For once, Cas doesn’t need to be told twice, he’s now aware of the discomfort, know that he’s no longer indifferent to Dean’s body. He doesn’t know how it happened, but he’s not feeling quiet “normal”, he’s not feeling like the  
Cas clear his throat and says “Sure. I will wait outside your door”. The moment he’s out, Dean slams the door, almost on his face. Cas is a bit perplex but decides that he will wait there, just in front of Dean’s door – he doesn’t move much and just stares at the door. Dean finally opens the door, shirt half unbutton, mainly to see if Cas is still around. So he comes face to face with his angel. He rolls his eyes and mumbles “of course you’re here”, he takes him by the arm and drags him into his room.  
Cas reacts like an hypnotised man, he can’t help getting into Dean’s space. Dean, tries to gently push him away, but then gives up. Cas follows him at every step – even if there are few steps to make in such small space. So now Dean must button the rest of his shirt while Cas is literally centimeters from him. He stares at him intensely and says “Dean Winchester. I think I’m sorry if I offended you the other day. It was highly inappropriate. It’s just, I just realised that if you die, in addition of missing your soul, I will miss all of you, by that I mean your physical presence.” He moves one step more and without warning gives Dean the tightest hug he ever had, as if he’s scared to let go.  
Dean hugs him back and realises that Cas is suffering. Cas has doesn’t love anyone else more than Dean, and he’s now becoming increasingly difficult to accept the idea that one day, Dean will no longer be there.  
Dean hugs him back and slowly takes control of the situation by taking Cas by the shoulders, stares at his eyes and says “Cas I love you buddy, but you got’ accept that I’m only human. Plus, from what I know, if I die, there is a chance I end up in paradise, where you can come see me anytime! Good deal no!?”  
Cas looks at Dean and caresses his face, Dean tries to not pull away from Cas’ touch. Dean will never give in the impulse of wanted to be touch by Cas, mainly because he’s scared, he has no idea where that could lead to. Their bond is so profound that it might break any preconceived idea he has about himself. However, he can’t repress the need of hugging his “best friend”, he can’t contain the need of staring at him in the eyes with love and compassion, and he knows that Cas needs those gestures from him. “I love you too Dean, and I will make a priority to visit you in your paradise, if the moment ever comes.” Dean smirks and tries not to laugh. He finally says “Cas, buddy, can I ask you a favor?”. “Anything” – Cas replies without hesitation. “Can you not, hum pet my face or lips or whatever…” Cas gives him a pitiful look, grieving almost. “Seeing Cas reaction, Dean clarifies: “In front of other people, I mean. “ Dean clears his throat “ Just cuz it could be misinterpreted, you get it right? “I understand perfectly” says Cas almost too serious and continues “You don’t want others to question your (air quotes) masculinity (air quotes); you want to keep yourself (air quote) inside the closet (air quote)” -he’s of course gesturing the air quotes as evidently as possible. Dean rolls his eyes and mumbles between his smirk “real subtle.”, before taking Cas into a tight embrace and whispers into his ear “You’re a dumbass, you know that right?” – “Yes Dean, you made it perfectly clear” Cas says, his serious face turning into a smile, because he knows perfectly what he’s doing and, because it feels good to feel Dean’s mouth so close to his neck (we can note here that Cas is officially not Asexual!). 

The end


End file.
